I went out, later that night, to escape the reality of the situation. I just needed to get away. I headed to an exclusive club in Myeongdong, where I knew I would not be bothered. Only I was bothered. I was assaulted by her moves the second I walked in the door. Yojeong was dancing on stage, her hips swaying to the music, her ass barely covered by the short skirt straining against each move. She had discarded the netting and was now bare, minus the small tube top cupping her breasts.

I had walked over before I could even think to just walk… no, run… away.

“Yojeong…” I muttered and she glanced up to meet my gaze.

“Kookieeeeeeee…” She purred, the liquor talking more than the person. “I said call me Kaiiiiiia…” She pouted, her lips looking utterly kissable.

“I think you’re drunk…”

She giggled. “I know I’m drunk…”

“That’s dangerous… Who is here with you?” I asked, glancing around for anyone keeping an eye on her. Everyone was watching her, but not to protect her. I could see the gears turning. They all wanted to know how much more she could drink before they could have their chance with her. “Very dangerous…”

“Are you going to teach me a lesson again?” She asked, trailing her nail down my neck.

“Why is Jimin not here with you?” I asked, feeling my temper rise even as the words left my mouth.

“I came alone…” She whispered, tugging on my hips as she swayed to the music. “So, be my partner…”

I sighed in frustration before pushing her hands firmly to her own side. “Let’s get you home. Where do you live?”

“SHINee’s dorm…”

Her answer surprised me, but I still moved to pull out my phone, hoping to get the address from one of the guys.

“Please don’t take me back there… it’s suffocating…” 

Seeing the pain on her face, I nodded without thinking of the consequences. “Do you want to see Jimin?” I asked, despite the pain it caused me to do so.

“Can you just take meeeee to a hotel?”

I could not tell if it were an invite, or a general question, but I had grabbed her hand and dragged her out before she could retract her statement.

It would have been fine if I had just dropped her off and headed back to the dorm. Instead, I had walked her to the room, invited myself in, and was now watching her as she poured herself a glass of wine. She topped off the glass and sat on the edge of the table, her thighs pressed together firmly beneath the short skirt.

She tipped the glass to her lips and a small bit poured into her mouth. I found myself imagining what it would be like to have that pretty mouth on my body. I don’t know what prompted the question that rolled off my tongue next.

“Have you and Jimin had sex?”

I didn’t really want to hear the answer, and I certainly didn’t want to see her face flush at the thought. I had crossed the room and pushed her to the table before my thoughts had caught up to my body.

“Is this another lesson, Jeon Jongkook-ieee?” she purred, and I nodded, without thinking.

“Are you going to kiss me and then disappear again?”

I shook my head while playing with the hem of her skirt. “I’m not stopping at kissing you today, Kaia.”

She giggled and I felt my pants tighten.

“Lesson learned, good sir. No more bad actionsss.”

“Kaia…” I muttered, pressing against her to let her feel my desire.

I watched her tremble beneath me and blush. Capturing her lips in fervent desire, I nipped at her bottom lip before trailing kisses to her neck.

“Kookie…“ She whined and the sound drove me mad. “…wait…”

I pushed away and met her intense gaze. Behind the desire on her face, something more defined was prominent in her expression. Pain and longing…

“Did you love Jonghyun?” The question surprised me, as it left my mouth and lingered in the silent room. I can’t explain why I jumped to that conclusion, but her answer told me that it needed to be asked.

Perhaps the liquor made her honest, or perhaps she’d been waiting for someone to ask, but her answer was surprisingly simple.

“I loved him… but I loved myself more…”

I pulled Kaia up and over to the bed before laying down, pulling her into my arms. “You blame yourself…”

It wasn’t a question and Kaia knew it. I could feel it in her every movement, see it in every expression.

“Do the guys know you feel this way?” I asked and she shook her head.

“There’s no need to burden them more… we all blame ourselves… for not seeing his pain.”

I wasn’t sure what to say. I didn’t know how to comfort her, and the thought drove me mad.

“You should talk to your brother… or Jimin… or anyone. Don’t let it build up. You’ve already bore witness to what that does to people.” 

I watched a tear roll down her cheek. “Kaia…”

“Jungkook, I’m drunk…” she paused and thought carefully about what to say next.

I stood from the bed and walked to the stand where she had placed the wine, tipping the bottle to my lips and chugging. Downing the bottle in one go, I lowered it and glanced back to where she lay, staring at me. “I think I’m drunk too…” While the wine hadn’t been enough to intoxicate me, Kaia’s mere presence had. “Are you really going to send me away in this state?”

Kaia stood and slowly strolled in my direction, every move seducing me. “Kookie, nothing good can come of you staying.”

“I don’t care if you think it is a mistake but I’d rather take advantage of the situation than regret it tomorrow.”

Kaia’s hands reached for the buttons on my shirt and started slowly removing them. She spoke slowly, clearly giving us time to rethink the situation. “Do you not understand? I am Jimin’s girlfriend. You are Jimin’s best friend.”

“Kaia…”  Leaning forward to whisper in her ear, “I want you. I have wanted you for a long time.” Running my fingers up her thighs towards the hem of her skirt. “I’ve dreamt of touching your skin like this, since you debuted three years ago.”

Loving the feel of her hands on my skin as she pushed my shirt slowly down my arms, I moaned and pressed in to her.

“If you want me…” Kaia’s fingers hesitated, having moved to the belt on my jeans. “…shouldn’t you just take me?”

“Don’t regret this in the morning…“ Lifting Kaia and placing her on the table once more before sliding my fingers across the moist satin of her underwear.

“Kookie…” she moaned and I captured her mouth with my own, muffling the sound as I slid my fingers under the material and deep inside.

I felt her tighten around my fingers and smirked into the kiss, before pulling away and trailing kisses lower, frustrated when she stopped me.

“You don’t have to do that…”

I pressed her hands into the wood of the table, staring at her longingly. “I want to taste you…”

She whined while blushing brightly. “But… it’s embarrassing…”

“You’ll get used to having my tongue between your thighs.” I promised trailing kisses across the flesh on her hip.

She moaned, her fingers entwining in my hair, and I smirked before sliding my tongue between her folds.

* * * * *

It was Kaia who disappeared this time…

Only, that was not in my plans. 

I’d known all along that she would run when she awoke, sober, and realized what she had done in her drunken stupor.

I had known she was too drunk to make rational decisions, and I’d known that she would regret her betrayal. I’d known, and I’d taken advantage of that. As guilty as I should’ve felt, I was elated to have made her mine, and I had no intention of letting her go.

It was sheer coincidence that I had run into her. I had honestly spent the last two years avoiding her. I never wanted to lose control again or feel the helplessness that had occurred in the following weeks. I had not even reached out when Jonghyun had passed away, clearly shaking SHINee’s and Yojeong’s world. I had watched from afar…

Her eyes met mine and I forced a smile from across the lobby of KBS. She smiled brightly and rushed over. “Jungkook, you guys are here for the broadcast too?”

I nodded without a word. The truth was, I could not speak. She had only grown more beautiful and, with age, sexier. The black netting that covered her tube top had me struggling to look into her eyes.

“Where’s Jimin?”

The question should not have bothered me… but it did… even more so when Jimin walked up and placed a hand on my shoulder before flashing a smile at Kaia. It was not his professional smile. Kaia blushed and glanced around anxiously before pulling out her phone and checking the time. 

“See you on stage.” She smiled at each of us before turning to walk away.

I glanced to Jimin who was now absorbed in his phone, a grin plastered on his face. I could not help wondering what the fuck was causing the expression was on his face. Yoongi walked up and smacked each of us on the back. “We should head upstairs. Namjoon is probably thinking we got lost…”

I turned and started marching towards the elevator, unfortunately catching Yoongi’s next words.

“Are you happy you got to see your girlfriend?”

I stopped, rounding on the two who had lagged, and spotted Jimin nodding with a sheepish look on his face.

“Girlfriend?”

They both stared at me in surprise, as if this was common knowledge.

“Why are you acting so shocked, Kook? They’ve been dating for… what… a year and a half?” Yoongi remarked simply.

Jimin answered, clearly trying to settle my doubt and ease my confusion. “We’ve been dating since shortly after Jonghyun’s death.”

“Why did I not know this?” My voice quivered in anger and I fought to reign in my emotions.

“I’ve told you about her before… I mean, you’ve even handed me my phone when she has called…”

“I thought your girlfriend was Mayly…” Coming to the realization as the word rolled off my tongue. “Mayly… Mee Lee… Lee Mee… Lee Kaia… You’re dating the nation’s fairy, Yojeong?” I ask the last part, louder than intended.

Jimin glanced around nervously before motioning us towards the elevator. “We’ll talk more later. For now, we have a show to perform.”

The performance was a blur, but I know I still did well, considering articles were all over the internet talking about our stellar performance, only hours later. I also know Yojeong did amazing because I never took my eyes off her. Jimin had tried to talk to me when we got home but I claimed I was tired and had locked myself in my room. I did not want to hear about their relationship.

Dragging my converse sneakers against the concrete floors of the Jamsil Sports Complex Stadium, I was surprised when I glanced up to an empty hall ahead of me. In my cranky state, I had managed to get myself lost in the complex. Glancing down a side hall, off the main that encircled the stadium, I spotted a familiar face glancing around anxiously. Turning without thought, I abandoned any thoughts of searching for the group, in search of the fairy who had now ducked down another hall.

I started running, without realizing, in a desperate attempt to catch up to her. Turning the corner, I spotted her 500 feet ahead, making her way quickly in the opposite direction. Her name had left my mouth before I realized I was calling out to her.

“Kaia?”

She spun to face me and blushed before rushing over as I went to correct myself.

“Yoj…”

I was shocked as one of her hands quickly covered my mouth and the other gently grabbed my sleeve.

“Shhhhhhhh.” She whispered to me and I felt my heart jump into my throat. Her cherry lips were moist with lip gloss, that had clearly just been applied, and she leaned closer, glancing around me.

“I’m hiding from my brother.”

I nodded into her hand and then pulled away gently before whispering “Why are you hiding?”

She sighed and then pulled me into the nearest room, closing the door behind us and locking it. I glanced at the small storage closet and then back at Kaia, whose dress was a bit too short for my own comfort.

“Six interviews… six…” She muttered and twisted a blond curl around her finger.

“You don’t want to do the interviews?”

I watched her shake her head, curls tumbling around her bare neck, and I felt my jeans tighten. Her little pink dress clung to all her curves and I glanced towards the ceiling in frustration.

The situation was my own personal hell.

It would be an understatement to say that she had been the object of my affection for many years. I had, on more than one occasion, found myself in a… sticky… situation because of her performances and she had even caused me a couple wet dreams, which had resulted in relentless teasing from the boys.

“Jungkook?”

Her calling my name had my full attention, and I mean that in every sense of the word.

“You know my name?”

She laughed and the sound elicited a response like nothing ever had.

“BTS’s Golden Maknae, Jeon Jungkook, A.K.A Kookie.”

Realizing she would have had to have lived under a rock not to know my name, I laughed awkwardly. “Right, that’s me.”

She laughed again and her lips parted to say something but no sound ever came out, as my own mouth covered hers before she could muster the words.

She stood in shock for several moments before attempting to push me away. I had grabbed her firmly and pulled her against me, wanting to show her the depths of my desire, but the response I received washed over me and brought me back to my senses. I pulled away and looked at her wide eyes, moist with unshed tears.

“You should go back to your brother…”

She nodded as she glanced at the floor and composed herself, finally glancing back at me with a smile. “You’re a good person, aren’t you?”

I stared at her in bewilderment.

“You did that to teach me not to wander away from my brother, didn’t you? I’m an idol now so I should know better…”

I hadn’t been trying to help her, I had genuinely lost control, but she naively believed I had done it for her.

She smiled before taking my hand. “Thank you, Jungkook.”

I snatched my hand away as if she had burned me. She had. Her touch set fire to my entire body. “We should get you back, Yojeong.”

“My friends call me Kaia…”

Friends… my friends were limited but the last thing I wanted was to be her friend.

It was two years before I saw her in person, again.

The year was 2014 and SHINee’s Lee Taemin had just made his solo debut with the song Danger. Most of his performances involved a team of professional (male) dancers so it came as a shock to everyone when Taemin brought a young girl on stage to dance during the number. The eye-catching child, who was only thirteen at the time, enchanted the audience. As the performance ended, Taemin introduced his sister to the world as Lee Kaia, an upcoming rookie at SM Entertainment. 

The word spread like wildfire and Lee Kaia, who legally changed her name to Lee Mee the following year, rose in popularity. When she officially debuted, as Yojeong, in May 2016, she was fifteen. A child in many aspects, her beauty was enough to make grown men squirm. I was eighteen and fairly popular, considering I was the Golden Maknae of the largest boy group in the world, and she still caused me to doubletake. 

There was something otherworldly about her. Perhaps that was why she had become known as the nation’s fairy, debuting as Yojeong, meaning “fairy”. When her official fandom name was announced, Fae, I was one of the first to register. Perhaps I was the first, due to BigHit Entertainment’s influence. I started collecting her photocards as if each one somehow brought me closer to her. It seems silly in retrospect, considering my own position, however I was her devoted fan. I prayed for an opportunity to work with her… hell, to meet her… but, because of who I was, my opportunities were limited. Known for showering her fans with attention, if I hadn’t become an idol, I could have gone to fan meets, concerts, and events in the hopes that she would bless me with the same attentiveness I had seen in YouTube videos of her interacting with Fae. Instead, it was the following year when I was finally able to meet my fairy.

My band mate, and close friend, had choreographed a piece, together with Taemin, at the end of 2016. Little did I know, when they performed the number on The Show at the start of 2017, that the number was actually meant for the LoveLee World Tour and that Yojeong and Taemin would be dancing the number together as their opening act.

The date was May 08, 2017 and Yojeong was celebrating her year anniversary with the start of their tour. Fae, Taemints, and Shawols alike were spamming social media with well wishes for Yojeong’s anniversary and the Lee’s tour. I was following the hashtag #Fae4Fairy on Twitter when Jimin’s phone rang out Press Your Number.

Jimin answered the video call quickly and smiled. “Min!”

Taemin’s voice filtered into the room and caught my attention. “Are you coming tonight? My sister was really hoping to see you.”

Jimin nodded, a bit too eager for my taste. “Of course, Min. I’d love to see Kaia.”

Yojeong’s real name, from Jimin’s mouth, assaulted my senses and caused me to see red. I could not have explained the reaction, even if I tried, but it was clear to me that Jimin had met her. It made sense, in retrospect, but, at the time, it felt as if some unknown secret was being kept. Why hadn’t he told me that he had met her, particularly when he knew I was a fan?

Jimin glanced in my direction as he smirked and remarked, “Tonight, then?”

The bitch was taunting me. I was convinced he had done it on purpose, just to fuck with me.

I watched Jimin end the video chat and look around the room. “Taemin would really love it if we could all make it out for his, and his sister’s, show tonight. I didn’t think you guys would mind…”

Namjoon smiled at Jimin before standing from the couch and stretching. “I guess we should get ready then. I think some of us may need a while to get ready.”

Standing without another word, I marched to my room, oblivious to the members laughter at their own private joke.